Alone

Alone,
always alone.

The rain
pitter-patters on the window-pane,
echoing my tears
streaming down my face,
a visible result of my pain.

Alone
for so long.
What have I done wrong?

Am I
being punished?
By myself? By God?

I try
so hard to be good

Surely
that means I could
love and be loved again?

I’ve done
the internal work
on my beliefs, energy and thoughts
as much as I can

But,
maybe, what it comes down to is,
can I trust a man?

Broken-hearted?
No, not broken.
Absolutely destroyed,
ripped apart and then stamped on.

I thought
he was The One.
I was young.
I was wrong.

He never knew
about the year of tears.
I hid it – a mistake.
He should have known
about the damage he’d done.

I stayed
when I should have left.
It did me so much harm.

I tried
to forgive but I couldn’t forget.

His betrayal
left me feeling bereft.

Do I
still love him?
No, not for many years.

Can I
love again?
Too many tears and fears.

Will it
happen again?
Thinking I’m loved.
safe and I belong

But finding
I’m wrong.

Too much damage,
too many scars.

Feeling
I’m not good enough mars
any chance I have
of finding love.

I keep
men at arm’s length,
my barriers intact.

I appear
to be strong and capable
when, in fact,
I’m falling apart.

Yet
I know
he‘s out there,
somewhere.
My one, true love.

He will find me.

I have
to believe that.
I must have no doubt.
Everything I’ve learned about
the Law of Attraction,
about intention,
thoughts, feelings and vibration,
means he must come to me.

Then
I will be free.

Until that time.
in my prison I remain.
Self-imposed exile
and pain.

My heart
now turned to stone.
Alone.

Heart (Fractal Art).  Copyright Lynne Lawer.

Heart (Fractal Art). Copyright Lynne Lawer.

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Alone

  1. beautiful poetry.
    maybe he is lost, maybe his vision of your face is getting blurry, why not go out and make it easy to be found. or light a beacon to direct him to you

    Like

Please leave a reply. I love to read your comments. Thank you for your support.

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s