In Need Of Inspiration

I’ve been feeling very uninspired over the past few days.  I’m at the stage where I’m wondering if anyone (apart from my loyal friend Marie – hello Marie!) is actually bothering to read anything I write or if all of my followers (except Marie) have followed me just to get me to follow them and now they no longer look at my posts.  I’ve loved writing my blog (most of the time) – even when I had to find something different to write about every day for a month last November.  It was a challenge, particularly as I had to get it done before midnight every night.  Even so, I’m very proud of most of the posts I’ve produced but I’ve spent (wasted?) hours doing it and for what?  Today I started and abandoned 2 other posts before doing this one.  I’m just feeling really tired and I’m wondering if it is worth the effort.

I’m not feeling the love for my writing course at the moment either.  I’m rapidly running out of time but I’m still avoiding doing it.  What with working full-time, shopping, cooking, washing-up, washing, ironing and cleaning (well, maybe not so much cleaning lol, I hate cleaning) along with having to plan ahead and remember so much, I feel completely exhausted.

I think the real problem is that I need to change my job.  I’ve been there for more than 10 years so the thought of changing it is SCARY but the stress is making me ill.  If I knew what I wanted to do I could at least study something to move towards my ideal career but the problem is I don’t know what I want to do.  I just know I don’t want to do what I am doing and I think there are a lot of people out there who feel the same way as me.  Should I stay where I am while I hone my writing skills and try to craft a bestseller (did I ever say that a gypsy once told me I’d write a bestseller?) or should I try to find a job where I’ll be happier (a tall order in this economy and at my age and I know they are both disempowering beliefs to have and I need to change them) but where I might give up on my dreams of doing something creative, whether that is writing, art or both, because I won’t have the spur of being in a job where I’m not happy and so I might stop trying to use my talents to escape?  Decisions, decisions!

I may not post for a few days.  I think I need a break.

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4 thoughts on “In Need Of Inspiration

  1. It takes a great deal of courage to stand up and say you need a break. Anything we love to do requires cultivation and dedication – writing is no exception. And doing while working in a stressful environment doesn’t help. Give it serious consideration: what makes you happy, spurs your imagination, gets the creativity flowing? Do THAT. Give yourself a period of time to actively look for that. And if you can’t find it among the existing jobs…bring it into existence for YOU. Do what YOU love. I say this as I look at the swan, btw. Our lives are what we make them.

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    • Thank you for your comments Jessica. I tried to get my fractal art up and running over a year ago but it didn’t go anywhere. Likewise with my oil paintings and wax art that I tried to sell at craft fairs and exhibitions many years ago. Maybe we can’t all make a living doing what we love. I’ve spent a lot of time analysing myself and what makes me feel good so I know the sort of things I would enjoy doing but finding a job that I could do that I would enjoy is another matter.

      Maybe I’m like Johnny Depp. His first love is his music but he is successful as an actor. My first love is art but maybe I will be successful as a writer. 🙂 However, I need something now that will pay me enough to live on so I think I will try to get a job with a charity and work on my writing in my spare time. Good luck with your books. 🙂

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